I feel like I’m drowning, my lineage has cast a leaden net over me and swimming any farther away is no longer an option. I have no prospects really of doing any better than what my hands have dictated, the blisters dont lie. maybe I should succumb to the tides of broken poverty my will to dream of anything different feels useless. i cant even conceive of what it would feel like to not worry, to not visualize the middle or end of my life for fear of thinking about the pain that my body will be in from manual labor. All I know how to do is ‘make it’ ‘by the skin of my teeth’ ‘just scrape by’ I wish my goals were set a little higher. I’m tired.
I feel like I haven’t let anyone in, in years and all there is for them to know is a wall of tears.
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